I’m petrified.
Looking down all I see is the hundred feet sheer drop, and between us is just a rope and two slanting rocks that I have to descend. I’ve had half a mind to give up, but I’m already hanging precariously on the rope, and there is no way up. The only way is down and forward, yet fear cripples your every step.
Bukit Tabur is not an easy hill to climb, especially for first-time-hikers and people who are afraid of heights. Rocky and steep cliffs litter the trail and there is only your hands and legs that keep you tumbling down to the bottom. You hang on for dear life on those little crannies you dig your feet and fingers into, hoping the stone will be strong enough to hold your weight. You pause every moment or so to catch your breath, and you inevitably look down and back. You cannot believe that you have just made through that crazy ridge with a 80 degree cliff, but there’s more to come.
I ask my friends, “How long more till we reach the next peak/descend”, and the answer is almost always a lie, “We’re almost there”. But it’s a lie that keeps you moving on.
Bukit Tabur has 5 “peaks” on its ridges, and you had to get through all of them to reach the descending trail. On the 3rd peak we were unable to find a way to the next peak, or a way down, and we just came down from a rope descent which was almost impossible to climb back up again. Stranded here, I felt a pang of despair, as my friends Edward and Koo tried different routes and that seemed impossible to climb. For a lack of option, Mei-fern called up her friend and it was ascertained we had to really go through the next peak and there was no other way around it.
I heard myself curse a number of times during the hike. Never have I been so close to the fragility of life, just a step (or misstep) away.
My climb to the 4th peak was filled with fear. It was literally “rock climbing” as the cliffs were getting higher and so were the climbs. There were also less space for you to safely fall, as the previous are you were standing on was no more than 2 feets wide, with a steep drop on the sides. Loose rocks and slippery slopes were the mainstay of the trail at this point in time. Acrophobia kicked into full gear. I was literally crawling even on flatter surfaces. I wish I could just lay flat on the ground and not move at all.
I felt both relief and satisfaction as we made it to the 5th peak and we could see the descending trail. I had a moment of insight on life, “Sometimes a path in life seems impossible, but moving forward is the only way.”
Though, Bukit Tabur to some people isn’t as hard as I put it to be, dangerous as it may be. I’m probably just a new hiker, and my fear of heights isn’t going to help in climbing hills. Nevertheless, it was a great experience, and maybe it’ll start me on another adventure in life.
